All I truly want out of life is to feel like I have made a difference. That my actions or my words had some kind of significant impact on someone...no matter how big or small. As I walk into the world of materialism everyday for work I wonder, "Really what is my life accomplishing? What good am I even doing? I wonder, "Jesus what is the plan, what is the meaning?"
On Sunday morning standing, with hands held high with beautiful music being sung all around me, I heard His voice say, "Be thankful, be faithful...." Several weeks ago I felt the Lord say that my time at Target was coming to an end...my sentence was up if you may. For the first time in two years I felt at peace about searching for a new job, filled with hope, joy and excitement. However as the days turned into weeks, I have started wondering if a new job is just too good to be true. But then Jesus reminds me that HE is faithful, HIS truth is solid, HE always comes through, HIS promises stand firm. Jesus has called me to not only live out my life when things are exciting and new but in the ordinary, everyday life. He knows that I am at my breaking point, He knows that I struggle everyday to find joy in this place, He knows that I feel over worked and under-appreciated...and He knows the promises He has made and the words He has spoken over me-He has not forgotten.
"Be thankful..." Be thankful for having a job, for the ability to work, for getting to help provide for my family. Be thankful for strength to endure, for the lessons learned, for the friends being made. Be thankful for the opportunity to show His love, be thankful for having a reason to smile in the mist of chaos.
"Be faithful..." Be faithful in the place that I have you. Be faithful to do the work for the day. Be faithful even when I don't like the work I am doing. Be faithful to know that Jesus' word is true and He has never failed me once. Be faithful to use the life He has given me in the time He has given me.
Its hard feeling like I am not doing anything, to feel like I am wasting whatever it is I have but when I remember that its by no accident that I am working at Target and its no accident that I have been turned down by two jobs that I am completely qualified for and its no accident that I am where I am today....when I remember that all the worries start to fade away. Yes, I want to use my education that worked very hard for and am still paying for; yes I want to feel like my days have purpose; yes I want to do truly great things....and I will and in someways I even if i may not notice, already am.
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