Tonight as I was making No Bake Cookies, I experienced very clear flash backs of my child hood--me standing over the stove stirring melted butter, sugar, milk and cocoa waiting in anticipation for the mixture to boil. I remember standing in the kitchen-that is now the laundry room- stirring and I remember being worried because even though I knew what to do, my mom was not standing behind me watching, giving advice. I remember calling for her...knowing that I could do it but wanting her there just the same. How do I remember this? And how is it that this particular day is so etched into my memory?
Tonight I had all the confidence in the world, I knew exactly what to do and I didn't worry about getting the vanilla and oats in quick enough...I knew it would all turn out great. But you know what? Tonight as I sat down eating the success of my labor, I would have given anything--even my confidence to be 11 years old again calling for my mom to help me finish the cookies...or just stand by me reassuring me that they would turn out great.
Its a funny thing getting older and I know its been said so many times in various ways but...Why is it that as a child and a teenager all we think and dream about is what the future holds and we can't wait to get there, and then when we finally arrive all we can think and dream about is the ease of childhood. Those carefree summer days of waiting around all day for 3 o'clock for "Saved by the Bell" to come on, the anticipation of Friday nights to come just because it meant that TGIF would be on and two hours of "Boy Meets World" "Family Matter" "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" and "Step by Step" would fill the night. The anticipation of starting school, of going clothes shopping and longingly looking at my new clothes hanging in my closet and living in anticipation for the day that I would get to where my new clothes. The days of playing outside, running through the sprinklers, of roller blading, of reading, of doing homework, of cleaning the kitchen with my brother...those days are days I wouldn't mind living over again.
I am not saying that I don't love my life or that I am stuck in the past but as technology is filling every aspect of our lives even taking the place of real books, I miss the days before cell phones, before Netflix, before internet, before the Wi, Xbox and all those other consoles, before a gallon of gas was more than a meal at Wendy's, before digital cameras and before Ipods Ipads and all other I-related technology. I am jealous for the children growing up today because most of them will never know what it means to use their imagination, to build a fort in their granddad's truck and pretend that they are international spies. I am jealous for them because they don't have good television that presents good family morals. I am jealous for them because they will never know what its like to anticipate coming home and walking to the answering machine and seeing there are messages and hoping one of them was a friend calling to say hello.
I have no idea what brought on all of this except maybe the No Bake Cookies. And maybe because Michael and I have been looking at ways to cut expenses. You know there was a time when I didn't have a cell phone, Netflix or Internet yet now that we have them I think I can't live without it. Even though having a cell phone is still a semi-new thing for me (okay I guess 5 years isn't so new but still...) I believe that without it I would never be able to get a hold of anyone and vice-versa. But when I think more about it...what freedom would come to Michael and I without it! And we would get to welcome back the wonderful anticipation of coming home to see if anyone called :) And then there's Netflix...which lets be honest is a wonderful thing but it has only been in my life for a few months and since it has been there I have watched more TV in the past months than I have in about two years. It has become Michael and I's go to activity. We have prided ourselves in the fact that we don't have cable but between Hulu and Netflix we probably watch just as much television as the next American family. Now I am not trying say that watching TV is wrong...I really enjoy it but who needs 4 hours or more everyday, of every week? How am I advancing the Kingdom of God, advancing my family and advancing my mind?
So, I really just started out wanted to talk about how I missed my mom and my dad and my parents house and being kid. I want to live simply and enjoy the simpleness of No Bake Cookies. Really the rest all comes from the place that I wish I lived more like I did when I was a kid...enjoying life each day because well, its another day filled with adventures, anticipation, good friends and good cookies.
