This evening as Michael and I strolled along our neighborhood, me with my first of the season pumpkin spice latte in hand, a wonderful memory came to mind as we passed a house with the smell of burning wood coming from their back yard....
A few years ago my Wednesday's once included setting out for Beaumont for the King's house. I remember pulling up to the house, walking up to the front door and without knocking pushing the front door open. During the cooler parts of the year we would walk through the kitchen, through the other meeting place and through the door into the back yard. Here a fire pit would be blazing away, the smell of burning wood and smoke filled the air...and that warm and cozy feeling only the fall can bring would wrap around us. Here I was surrounded by some of the greatest people I have ever known. Here I was surrounded by family. This community was one of the best I have ever been a part of. And tonight as I walked hand-in-hand with my wonderful husband, hundreds and thousands of miles away from these dear people I left the city of Waco, and revisited my old friends.
Community...you are missed, you are loved and you will always have a place in my heart and memory. You are one of the GREAT!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
New Beginnings
About two months ago I found myself once again pleading to the Lord, "Jesus, can I please, please leave Target?!" Over the past two and half years I have gone up and down with Target. Seeing the greatness, seeing the Lord work to feeling like I was in a dark whole while at work, surrounded by ugliness, bitterness and evil. And during these two and half years I have gone from fervent prayer for Target, for my fellow team members, for 1531(our store number). Praying hard for strength to preach the gospel, for change, for light to fill this dark place. Jesus has been so faithful...I have watched light spring up in the unlikely of places, hearing talk of Lord during the day and feeling His peace fall upon us all...even if some didn't know what was happening. In periods of low times I fervently pray to leave, to find a new job. During these times Jesus has always given me new vision, given me someone new to reach out to, to pray for and with that given me renewed strength to press on and to continue His work.
At the beginning of August I found myself in one of the lowest times of my career at Target. Management was going down, work was piling up around me, no helping hand was being reached out, unbelievable expectations were being made, gossip and hard feelings were running rampant and I found myself once again pleading for the Lord to let me leave. This time I received an unexpected answer, "Yes..." I spent the next few days processing this answer, wondering if I truly heard the Lord right. That week during my time with Amanda, my wonderful discipleer, I told her about what the Lord had said. She responded with a laugh that only Amanda can do, and I knew she was about to tell me about something she had heard from the Lord. She recalled to me a conversation that her and Ed had recently about me. They had both said they felt that the Lord had more for me than Target. These words were the confirmation that I needed to take the next step on this crazy new journey.
(stay tuned to the next steps )
At the beginning of August I found myself in one of the lowest times of my career at Target. Management was going down, work was piling up around me, no helping hand was being reached out, unbelievable expectations were being made, gossip and hard feelings were running rampant and I found myself once again pleading for the Lord to let me leave. This time I received an unexpected answer, "Yes..." I spent the next few days processing this answer, wondering if I truly heard the Lord right. That week during my time with Amanda, my wonderful discipleer, I told her about what the Lord had said. She responded with a laugh that only Amanda can do, and I knew she was about to tell me about something she had heard from the Lord. She recalled to me a conversation that her and Ed had recently about me. They had both said they felt that the Lord had more for me than Target. These words were the confirmation that I needed to take the next step on this crazy new journey.
(stay tuned to the next steps )
Monday, September 13, 2010
Significance in a world of Insignificance....
All I truly want out of life is to feel like I have made a difference. That my actions or my words had some kind of significant impact on someone...no matter how big or small. As I walk into the world of materialism everyday for work I wonder, "Really what is my life accomplishing? What good am I even doing? I wonder, "Jesus what is the plan, what is the meaning?"
On Sunday morning standing, with hands held high with beautiful music being sung all around me, I heard His voice say, "Be thankful, be faithful...." Several weeks ago I felt the Lord say that my time at Target was coming to an end...my sentence was up if you may. For the first time in two years I felt at peace about searching for a new job, filled with hope, joy and excitement. However as the days turned into weeks, I have started wondering if a new job is just too good to be true. But then Jesus reminds me that HE is faithful, HIS truth is solid, HE always comes through, HIS promises stand firm. Jesus has called me to not only live out my life when things are exciting and new but in the ordinary, everyday life. He knows that I am at my breaking point, He knows that I struggle everyday to find joy in this place, He knows that I feel over worked and under-appreciated...and He knows the promises He has made and the words He has spoken over me-He has not forgotten.
"Be thankful..." Be thankful for having a job, for the ability to work, for getting to help provide for my family. Be thankful for strength to endure, for the lessons learned, for the friends being made. Be thankful for the opportunity to show His love, be thankful for having a reason to smile in the mist of chaos.
"Be faithful..." Be faithful in the place that I have you. Be faithful to do the work for the day. Be faithful even when I don't like the work I am doing. Be faithful to know that Jesus' word is true and He has never failed me once. Be faithful to use the life He has given me in the time He has given me.
Its hard feeling like I am not doing anything, to feel like I am wasting whatever it is I have but when I remember that its by no accident that I am working at Target and its no accident that I have been turned down by two jobs that I am completely qualified for and its no accident that I am where I am today....when I remember that all the worries start to fade away. Yes, I want to use my education that worked very hard for and am still paying for; yes I want to feel like my days have purpose; yes I want to do truly great things....and I will and in someways I even if i may not notice, already am.
On Sunday morning standing, with hands held high with beautiful music being sung all around me, I heard His voice say, "Be thankful, be faithful...." Several weeks ago I felt the Lord say that my time at Target was coming to an end...my sentence was up if you may. For the first time in two years I felt at peace about searching for a new job, filled with hope, joy and excitement. However as the days turned into weeks, I have started wondering if a new job is just too good to be true. But then Jesus reminds me that HE is faithful, HIS truth is solid, HE always comes through, HIS promises stand firm. Jesus has called me to not only live out my life when things are exciting and new but in the ordinary, everyday life. He knows that I am at my breaking point, He knows that I struggle everyday to find joy in this place, He knows that I feel over worked and under-appreciated...and He knows the promises He has made and the words He has spoken over me-He has not forgotten.
"Be thankful..." Be thankful for having a job, for the ability to work, for getting to help provide for my family. Be thankful for strength to endure, for the lessons learned, for the friends being made. Be thankful for the opportunity to show His love, be thankful for having a reason to smile in the mist of chaos.
"Be faithful..." Be faithful in the place that I have you. Be faithful to do the work for the day. Be faithful even when I don't like the work I am doing. Be faithful to know that Jesus' word is true and He has never failed me once. Be faithful to use the life He has given me in the time He has given me.
Its hard feeling like I am not doing anything, to feel like I am wasting whatever it is I have but when I remember that its by no accident that I am working at Target and its no accident that I have been turned down by two jobs that I am completely qualified for and its no accident that I am where I am today....when I remember that all the worries start to fade away. Yes, I want to use my education that worked very hard for and am still paying for; yes I want to feel like my days have purpose; yes I want to do truly great things....and I will and in someways I even if i may not notice, already am.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
life rolls on...
I go to work where people can be mean with no rhythm or reason. I go to work where I am surrounded by mountains of shoe clearance that I am under pressure to get out NOW, but have no space to put. I go to work where I do all that I can, working myself to the end. I go to work and wonder is this all there is? And life rolls on...
I head home where dinner is to be made, sometimes without food in the kitchen. I head home where laundry, a dirty kitchen, and an unmade bed are waiting for my attention. I head home where I am greeted by a loving husband with open arms and a wonderful kiss. I head home where all the events of the day fade away and I know is I don't need more than this. And life rolls on...
I sit down at my computer where I am filled with an overwhelming desire to share my thoughts. I sit down at my computer where I wonder as I write about my meager life if anyone will ever read my words and be blown away by them. I sit down at my computer where most of the time I feel completely and utterly under qualified to even be a writer and question every word and sentence. And life rolls on...
I lay in bed thinking about life and friendships, saddened by the life wasted and the friendships lost but heartened by life accomplished and bonds of friendships made. I lay in bed feeling completely blown away and blessed by my husband laying next to me. I lay in bed wondering what tomorrow brings hoping for adventure and excitement. And life rolls on...
I head home where dinner is to be made, sometimes without food in the kitchen. I head home where laundry, a dirty kitchen, and an unmade bed are waiting for my attention. I head home where I am greeted by a loving husband with open arms and a wonderful kiss. I head home where all the events of the day fade away and I know is I don't need more than this. And life rolls on...
I sit down at my computer where I am filled with an overwhelming desire to share my thoughts. I sit down at my computer where I wonder as I write about my meager life if anyone will ever read my words and be blown away by them. I sit down at my computer where most of the time I feel completely and utterly under qualified to even be a writer and question every word and sentence. And life rolls on...
I lay in bed thinking about life and friendships, saddened by the life wasted and the friendships lost but heartened by life accomplished and bonds of friendships made. I lay in bed feeling completely blown away and blessed by my husband laying next to me. I lay in bed wondering what tomorrow brings hoping for adventure and excitement. And life rolls on...
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