The alarm goes off at the same 6:45 a.m. time every morning. And every morning at 7:05 a.m. we get up. The showering and getting dressed is the same routine and even for me its the same clothing. Breakfast is made and consumed, lunches are packed, teeth are brushed, lips are kissed and goodbyes are said. The next eight hours go by just about the same...asking the same one line over and over again. Picking up merchandise off the floor, putting it back where it belongs, answering phone calls in the same way. Break happens, lunch happens, break happens...some talking with friendly co-workers. Getting frustrated over the same things...when will I just get over things? I try to have joy, I try and not give into gossip. The only change is I feel myself getting mean, and that's not me. Its just hard to not become a stone in this place...but mean is not who I want to become. Go home to do the same things, fix dinner, watch tv online.... Maybe I should read, maybe I should do something!
I don't want to become one of those people who complains about life and the boringness of it...because lets face it, every moment can't be spent at Disney World, getting married, having a new baby, seeing family, Christmas and Birthday's. Most days are well the day I just had with nothing really worth writing or talking about but I still want to share. I do have a pretty sweet life if I really think about it. I mean I have a nice home which is mine, great friends and an amazing husband who looks at me everyday like he is seeing me for the first time. And there really isn't anything boring about that is there?
It's the love of Christ, family and friends and the joy I find in those that helps keep me going. It's hard not to anticipate the next big event or birthday. However, those are too few and far apart to depend only on those to bring joy to my life.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was at a similar place, I found a woman's Bible study/prayer group really helped me. We studied books by Joy Dawson, Beth Moore, and others. We spent time (often all evening) in intercession.
I pray you this helps and you find the joy and the peace you are seeking.
Love, Kandy