Create....

Today I learned something so profound it blew me away..."If you want to be a writer you have to write something...."  I mean WOW!  Why is it so hard for me to admit that I am a writer.  I'm not published, there is only a hand full of people besides my professors that actually read what I write...but none of that makes me a writer.  The mere fact that I think thoughts and put them into sentences makes me a writer.  And today I got to live a dream of mine and I haven't felt that alive in a long time.  Today at the "Create" conference in my breakout session we were asked to write something over our lunch break.  Nothing perfect, nothing edited...but a piece that was raw.  As I tried to think of what to write I did what any "good" writer does...I just started  putting words on the page until I felt inspired.  As I am struggling to put words together and running out of time I hear the Lord speak, "Write your story...that's what is real, that is what needs to be heard..."  I went into the breakout session excited to share my piece.  After our small group time of sharing our leader asked if there was any brave souls in the room that would like to share with the group.  I found my heart racing and that feeling I get only when I know I need to take the risk...the question was, was I willing to leap?  My hand went in the air and the next moment I found myself once again where I feel the most alive...sharing my story with the people around me. 

This piece is inspired from a vision the Lord gave me a few years ago on the day I call "My Freedom Day"

I was once this broken girl who was locked in this dark damp room.  My arms were in shackles chained to the wall.  The only light was a slit at the top of the ceiling that wasn't a comfort but a mocking voice saying you will never feel the warmth of my rays or see the brilliance of my color because you are nothing.  My hair was unkempt and my clothes were merely rags.  And my feet, no there were not shoes on my feet because I would never go places.  I was shut up and locked away because I was unlovable!  True, men would come-proclaiming their love and my heart would swell, I saw hope, but in moments I found myself back locked away with nothing--no even less than that...emptiness.  Yes emptiness.  True, women would come in and give vision of wonderful friendship but in the same moment I started to feel my chains loosen, I found another link being added and more "truth" of how I wasn't even worthy of their conversation.  Unintelligence crowded around me.  There was nothing and no one. 

Until one night I found myself laying in my prison when I heard a loud crash and a blazing light flooded my cell.  There standing in what was once my prison door, stood my Saviour.  He didn't talk, He didn't bring judgement--No what I saw were tears in His eyes.  Was He actually crying for me?  As those tears flowed down His face, He came near me and in a moment I felt my chains fall away.  Not just the idea of them falling away, no literally the burden, the heaviness that these binds had on me was broken away.  And then He did something I never thought anyone would ever do--He reached towards me and threw me into His arms, and not only did He take me out--He RAN out.  He knew that by walking He would give me the choice to stay.  No He Ran full out!  The next moment I was in warm sun raze, smelling the most wonderful smells.  And I look down at my self and see where I was once in rags, I was now in beautiful clothing.  On my feet were sandals and I knew I was being restored.  I tried to look back--but as I turned my head He whispered, " No my bride, it is  no more, nothing, don't even bother looking back."